Supporting Your 1-Year-Old to Learn Sharing through Positive Parenting

At around 1 year old, children are naturally very focused on their own needs and interests, especially with objects they feel attached to. Your child’s reluctance to share is developmentally typical; toddlers are just beginning to understand the concept of “mine” and “yours.” Additionally, as an only child with limited peer interaction, your little one may not yet have had many chances to practice cooperative play or sharing.

Using positive parenting and gentle discipline will help your child gradually learn about sharing in a supportive, nurturing way—building trust and emotional security while fostering social skills.

1. Understanding the Behavior at This Age

• Developmental stage: At 12 months, children are in the early sensorimotor and emerging social phase. They see toys as extensions of themselves and often do not yet grasp the idea of giving away or sharing.
• Attachment to toys: Favorite toys offer comfort and familiarity, especially when the child has few playmates.
• Emerging social skills: Your child is just beginning to observe and imitate others, and needs positive role models and guided practice to learn cooperative behaviors.

2. Practical Tips and Strategies Using Positive Parenting

1. Model Sharing Behavior Gently
   Use your own interactions as examples. For instance, say aloud, “Look, Mommy is sharing her snack with Daddy because sharing is kind.” When playing, hand a toy to your child and then offer some of your own, narrating the action positively.

2. Create Special Sharing Moments Before Playdates
   Introduce short sharing games at home with you or a trusted adult using easy-to-share toys (e.g., rolling a ball back and forth). Praise attempts and celebrate small successes to build confidence.

3. Offer Choices Instead of Demanding Share
   Instead of “You have to share that toy now,” try, “Would you like to play with this toy, or would you like to play with this one?” or “We can play with this toy together.” This gives your child a sense of control and reduces resistance.

4. Use Turn-Taking Language and Visual Cues
   Help your toddler understand turns by using simple phrases and a timer or sandglass to show when it’s time to switch. Saying, “Now it’s your turn, then it will be your friend’s turn!” gently teaches the rhythm of sharing.

5. Reinforce Positive Sharing Attempts
   Catch your child when they do share or take turns, even if only for a moment. Use enthusiastic praise like, “Thank you for letting your friend play with your ball! You’re so kind!” Positive reinforcement encourages repeat behavior.

3. Conversation Starters and Phrases to Use

• “My turn, then your turn—let’s share the toys!”
• “Look, your friend is playing with the car now, and you can have it again soon.”
• “Sharing makes playtime more fun for everyone!”
• “Your toy is special, and it’s kind to let others enjoy it too.”
• “Let’s find a toy that you both like to play with together.”

Keep your tone warm, calm, and encouraging, emphasizing connection rather than correction.

4. Recommended Resources

• Books:

  • “Sharing Time” by Elizabeth Hill (board book focused on sharing concepts for toddlers)
  • “Mine! A Look at Sharing” by Katie Harrop (simple story about sharing for young children)
  • “The Whole-Brain Child” by Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson (helps understand toddler brain development and gentle discipline)

• Articles:

  • “Helping Toddlers Learn to Share” – ZERO TO THREE (zerotothree.org)
  • “Positive Parenting Tips for Sharing and Cooperation” – Hand in Hand Parenting (handinhandparenting.org)

• Activities:

  • Practice simple turn-taking games (rolling a ball, passing stuffed animals)
  • Arrange short, frequent playdates with one or two toddlers to build social exposure gradually

Summary

Your child’s refusal to share toys at this age is a normal developmental behavior, influenced by attachment to favorite items and limited social experience. With a gentle, positive parenting approach, you can model sharing, create controlled, supportive practice opportunities, offer choices to reduce resistance, and celebrate even small signs of cooperative play. Consistent, patient encouragement will help your little one develop the social skills to share and play nicely with others over time.

Remember, every child develops these skills at their own pace—keep interactions joyful and low-pressure to nurture your child’s confidence and willingness to share as they grow.

If you have more questions or want tailored strategies for the next developmental stages, feel free to reach out!